Families are crazy! Let's face it all of our families have their own little quirks and antics, but the family is something we all have in common. Everyone has a family. Some of us have families that we're proud of and others families that we'd rather not mention. But, regardless our family is there, so the questions remain what is a healthy Christian perspective on the family? If we're unsatisfied with the current status of the family in the United States where do we want the family to go?
One thing I think is fairly universal for all of us is we don't want to recapture or strive to recapture the family as portrayed by many examples in the Old and New Testament. There are very few families which have it all together in the Bible. Even Mary and Joseph, the family which the God of the universe chose to have His born into weren't a picture perfect family. They forgot Jesus at the temple (Luke 2:44), and Joseph even planned to divorce Mary when he thought she had been unfaithful to him (Matthew 1:19). There are other examples of far more colorful actions that families in the Bible have done to each other. Ham laid with Noah after he was drunk (Genesis 9:24) Jacob tricked his father and stole Esau's birthright (Genesis 27). Judah slept with his daughter-in-law Tamar (Genesis 38). Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery in Genesis 37, and Eli's sons turned against the Lord. As you can see there are many examples of dysfunctional families in the Bible. If you throw in the facts that many husbands especially in the Old Testament had more than one wife, most marriages were arranged, and most girls were married at a very young age around 12 or 13, and I think it is safe to say we don't want to recapture those qualities of a family.
But, what do we want to recapture? How should a Christian family operate and function in 2013? Well, there is no one right answer to that question, however, here are a few things and ideas that will hopefully get you and your family on the right track. These are not ideas or steps that will automatically fix every problem, but these are suggestions from a Christian perspective I think will allow your family to be strong and effective.
1) Understand the role of child, parent, and spouse. I've seen way too many out of control kids today, because their parents want to be a friend rather than a parent. Your child has enough friends and if you're that short on friendships you begin to turn to your children that may be a sign you need to join a club, go play Bingo, or switch something up. Proper roles will allow your family to realize their full potential in the sight of God.
In Proverbs 22:6 we are told that if we train up a child in the way they should go, when they are old they won't depart from it. If we're faithful in being a parent to our child and teaching them the difference between right and wrong, how to work hard, and if we pass on our faith to our children in word and deed, those are things that will stay with them for a LIFETIME. We've been casting a lot of responsibility it is not just on the parent, it is a two way street. When family members live faithfully into their role as parent or child everyone wins. However, the responsibility is not just on the parent, it is a two way street. Children are called to honor, love, and respect their parents (Exodus 20:12). Which sometimes can be a tall task, but it can be accomplished. If it feels like your children aren't respecting you at this moment. Do not lose hope! These things do take time.
I would recommend you do two things. First, pray about your struggle and desire for your kids to respect you. Let's face it, feeling disrespected is not a fun feeling at all! No one wants that, and I know that God wants to work on both your heart and your children's heart to change. Begin today by asking him to do just that. Second, and I think this is most important: model the kind of respect you want from your children. Human beings are very receptive to the behaviors all around us, and let's face it we often become like the people with whom we associate. It may not be a fast transformation, but I would bet you'll see a transformation.
Proper roles are crucial in understanding the family from a Christian perspective. There are very few instances of families, in current or Biblical times, that ran into trouble when they lived into their role of parent or child. There are many more parts coming, and we'll break them up a little bit, but I think this is a good foundational piece for all families live into your identity in the family: if you're a parent act like one, train your child, love them, teach, and model good behavior. If you're a child love your parents, respect them, obey them, and try your best to get along with your siblings. That's all for now folks.
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