Let's face it words can hurt. They can hurt a lot, and one of the most damaging things we can do to another human being is discourage them. As a church, as followers of Jesus Christ, I hope our goal has been and will always be to build people up. The sad reality is that is not always the case, but our hope is together that we can continue to inspire and encourage all of us to speak and act in ways that build each other up rather than tear down. What I want and desire to leave you with today is some incredible truths about our speech and some things to think about when we communicate and converse with each other.
1) You don't need to have it all together all the time.
Our current society and even in our current churches we've become very private people. Our troubles, hurts, and struggles are often not discussed and when discussed can be met with hurtful words and emotions. I will say at the onset of this, this is not an easy thing to do, to be open, real, honest, genuine, and conceal hurt and pain involves taking some major risks. But, the question remains what is the upside? Why, be open and vulnerable when it can lead to heart ache?
Well, my thought process is this, can we really have meaningful, deep friendships and relationships with people if we only remain on the surface emotionally? If we really desire to live out our unconditional love for our friends and family shouldn't they know of our struggles and pain? Well, this is not easy to do, and some of you may even disagree but I believe that being open and real with each other and honest of our life situations will lead to very satisfying, deep relationships.
2) Think before you speak and you will eliminate a lot of hurtful things you say.
James 3:9-11 states, "9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" It is difficult to believe that our tongue can be used for such great purposes as praising God but also such negative things as cursing our neighbor? Let me be clear about all of this, as long as sin is still in our world, people will say nasty things about each other and to each other.
However, we can greatly improve our witness for Jesus to the world when we as Christians begin to honor each other with our speech. It won't be easy, because life brings at us people who just grate us on and try us to our last nerve, but if we are followers of Jesus we are called to love even those people. I want you to try something with me, the next time someone says or does something that would cause you to speak unkindly quietly count to three and see what happens. Most of our most hurt things that we have said have come impulsively. That three second delay will cause you to cool down and will allow you to see that more than likely what you were about to say probably wasn't worth it.
3) Speak to people's potential, gifts, and at times shortcomings.
I wouldn't be in full-time ministry today if it hadn't been for wise, mature Christians who pointed out gifts and abilities that I had that would allow me to become a ministry leader. God uses people all the time to communicate His truth to His creation. Be a part of that. Allow God to speak through you to others. But, do not take this task lightly. Make sure that you have been in prayer about what you're going to say and who you are going to say it to. God can and will use you to shape and mold other human beings. But, this doesn't and won't happen if you haven't first prayed for them and prayed for wisdom from God.
One final note, people don't like to be told of their shortcomings. It is not easy to tell someone that what they're doing or desiring to do doesn't match up with their gifts. The tough reality is that a lot of people do need to learn and be redirected to a path that better suits their gifts. So, if you are called to or see someone who needs redirecting, make sure you have a place to redirect them to pursue. Don't drop the bomb and not have a positive redirection that they can pursue.
We speak on average over 15,000 words a day. In 2014 let's make a promise to begin eliminating the hurtful, mean, and unkind things that we say to others or about others. Remember that Jesus died for everyone and loves everyone.
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