This is one of the more in-depth posts that has been written and will be written in our journey together about life's great deceptions. One of the big things we hope to accomplish in this entire blog and not just this series is for you to firmly know and live into without a doubt the truth that Jesus is greater than whatever life throws your way. This truth fits really well into conquering one of life's toughest deceptions: pain and heartache. Let's dive and see what we can find together!
1) Pain in an inevitable part of life.
The only people who ever knew a pain free life were Adam and Eve, and that all changed shortly after they disobeyed God by eating of the forbidden fruit. Once sin entered the world pain followed shortly after. The reality is that our world is desperately broken by the effects of sin both in personal choices and in the effects it has in the physical world.
So, where we're going with all of this is we want you to know that no one escapes pain in this lifetime. Living a life where one so desperately avoids taking risks, putting yourself out there, and only focusing on avoiding being hurt will be a life filled with emptiness and many unfulfilled dreams at the end of it all. Jesus reminds in John 10:10 that He has come to give life and life to the fullest. Don't avoid potentially painful situations, taking risks that may better yourself, or live in fear. Pain and heartache touch all of us in ways that we often don't like or appreciate. If we look at the saints of the New Testament and even throughout history their lives were filled with many great moments of success in their mission to proclaim Jesus to the world. But, there lives also had lots of moments of pain and heartache. Don't avoid painful situations, but learn to walk through and conqueror your pain through the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
2) Be an aid to help others conqueror their pain.
Let's face it other people feeling discomfort and walking in pain can be fairly difficult for us as human beings to navigate through the difficult moments of life, and when a close friend or loved one experiences tough times, hurt, and pain all of our well words can seem to be lost. Trust me you're not a bad person, for feeling uncomfortable, confused, or somewhat lost when trying to help a loved one through their pain. We often do not know what to say to help alleviate someone's pain, so we do something that has good intentions but often leaves hurting people with more hurt: we don't say anything and we don't come around. Those actions can be particularly devastating. In times of pain and heartache, people need support and they need others who will lift them up.
One great example of being with someone after a difficult time is Jesus' stirring words to Peter in John 21. To refresh your memory, Peter denied knowing Jesus three times on the night of his arrest. Jesus had a very important decision after his resurrection, and He chose to be with Peter in his moment of shame, offer forgiveness, and the result is that Peter became one of the bedrocks of the early church. Pain and hurt take many different forms, and often times we don't know or can't say anything to make it better. But, we can be there for people to show them we care. Teddy Roosevelt our 26th president sums up what I'm trying to say nicely when he states, "No one cares about how much you know, until they know how much you care."
3) Pain is not fair but neither is grace.
One of the big traps a lot of people get in life is they often try to rationalize their life in terms of whether or not it is or has been fair. Questions about fairness are legitimate questions to ask. Fairness is often the lens through which we view our life experiences, but I want to encourage you to look at both the good and hurtful areas of your life through the lens of fairness.
It is true that many people who live hurtful immoral lives do receive a lot of success on this planet. Is that fair? The short answer to that is no. However, there are also lots of good people who God has called home from this earth far too soon then we would have liked. Life is definitely fair in either of those situations. However, is it also fair that we in developed countries have clean water, while those in other countries do not? Is it fair that to forgive our sin Jesus had to die? Is it fair that we have the ability and financial resources to access computers, the Internet, etc, while many in the world do not? We don't want you to feel bad in reading this, that's not the point. It also is not the point to minimize your paint, but rather we want to put your life into perspective. Your life has been filled more than likely with a series of good moments and quite a few rotten moments as well. The truth is we want you to view your life as a whole, God has been good to you. God wants to know you more, and God will provide for you. Trust me God's provision is rarely in our timing or the way we would like, but it always comes. Know that God has given you the ultimate gift, a relationship with Him (Ephesians 2:8-9), and in no way is that fair at all!
4) Your Pain is not meaningless.
One of the most difficult things for humans to understand is why is this happening to me? Why did my marriage fall apart? Why did I not live up to my potential? Why did my best friend betray me? The answers can go on and on and on. I will say that when I do finally reach those pearly gates, I do have LOTS of questions that I would like answered. However, in the moment here are just a few hopeful words of reassurance on this issue.
1) Sin was wounded at the Cross and one day will be defeated. Much of the pain we experience is a direct result of sin and please note that sin's destruction is sure and coming. 2) You have a chance to practice empathy. Empathy is different from sympathy, because someone who practices empathy has walked in similar shoes that you're walking in. Use your painful experiences in the past to encourage others and help them conqueror their pain the present.
3) You are not alone. One of the big mistakes people make is to believe they are the only ones suffering in their type of situation. Seek support from a group, talk to a pastor, reach out to friends, spend more time in prayer, but please don't try and conqueror your pain alone. 4) Finally, don't be ashamed of scars. Christ has so graciously wiped out our sin, forgiven, and forgotten our sin. In so doing he also wiped out our shame. Your physical and emotional scars are part of what make you uniquely you. Use those to tell your story and in so doing point out the power of God to bring you above every pain and hurt you experienced. In closing, we can be sure that our pain can be conquered because of Jesus' words in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world."
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